Orifices

On Monday I had breakfast and took my vitamins, as usual. I take calcium since I'm a lactose intolerant girl with fragile bones, and a multivitamin especially for women that want to have babies some day. As I sliced up an apple, I burped, keeping my mouth closed, like a lady, and two little clouds of white powder shot out of both of my nostrils.

I'm pretty sure it was from my very large calcium pill. I have been taking them for several months, and this is the first time that happened to me. I chugged a ton of water as fast as I could to rinse the remaining powder down into my stomach, where it belonged. I blew my nose to get the calcium stuff out of there.

There was no repeat of the above incident, but it took me several hours to regain my ladylike composure. I feel like I can identify with dragons better now. Except while they breathe out fire, I breathe out vitamins.